The other night I couldn't sleep for the noises emanating from our den and arose to  peruse the reason for the strange noises. Upon tiptoeing through the hall door to the den, I saw my kitten Cecil banging away on the computer. Being surprised, Cecil jumped a foot in the air, spun around in a circle and lit out for under the couch. Being an inquisitive and a snoopy person, I just had to see what was so important that a 7 week old kitten would make so much noise on the computer as to awaken the whole house. This is what I found. My little orange and cream colored kitten was in the process of typing a letter to his Aunt Angie, my baby sister.

   The letter went something like this: Dear Aunt ANGIE, please come pway wiff me. I wuve you. Daddy gots mad at me for being a widdle kiddy  and clawing and biting his feet and attacking his legs. Momma tinks I a wittle pest. Brother Thadsdeus tinks I a rival for affection and dat I will be dominent male unless Mom and Dad gets me fixed pretty soon. Sister Esme don't gives me any love. She tinks I a pest too. Sister Eck, my 17 year old auntie cat not likes me at all. Sister doggies Muffin and Biscuit tolerates me but only Sister Buscuit letses me pway wiff her and she not snapses at me. Sister dog Mattie leaveses me awone but she swats me if I get in de way of her. I started to marks me own terrwatorwy and Brother Thaddeus mark hims. Mom gots mad a hollers at daddy to come cweem up after him catses. I pwoud because I learn to uses me own witter box. Mom called daddy and showed him my poop. I can't get no pwouder din dat. Mom and Daddy gets mad at me for being a demanding wittle kitty but Ise got to admit, it workses. When I wants to get picked up, I yell weal louder and stood up on my hiney legs and Daddy pickses me up. I not understand why daddy pop my widdle head when I bites him and clawses him. I tink he tinks I pwaying wit him so for evewy time he popses me widdle head me bites and cwases him harder. Me used to take formuwa fom a bottle but now Daddy feedses me cat food from a saucer. Den him compwains dat my beff tinks. So wat, I a carneyvor. My beff posed to tink. I learned to zump on de kitchen tabwel and bat medicine bottles across and onto the fwoor. I wikses coasters too. Daddy hope me grow up and settle down but wight now I still a wittle orange puddy tat and I gonna act wike one. I pwayses aw night and sleepses aw day and Daddy holdses me wittle body and wokses me to seep in de morning and me purses weal loud. Dis de only time I a good boy according to Daddy. Pwease com an pway wiss me, I wove oo Aunt Angie. Love you wittle orange nephew Cecil.

More on other subjects later,

Hank Gupton